Please do not kiss the giraffe

Giraffes are only one step removed from koalas. Who also like to hump trees.

I have heard that the best way to become a better writer is to be completely and brutally honest with your audience.  Is this a thing?  Or did I just make that up ten seconds ago?  Oh, how the lines blur.  I’m going to plug along with it anyway, because I am not one to back down from a terrible idea.  Here we go:  full disclosure.  I am going to tell you about one of my greatest fears for as long as I can, before I devolve into frightened high-pitched whine that will keep dogs awake long into the night.

No, not that fear.  Good lord, not that one.  No, the other one.  The one that I don’t think I’ve discussed with too many people, for fear that they are sympathizers.  You see, dear reader…  I am absolutely terrified of people wearing animal costumes.

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