Have you ever had the feeling like you’re living in one gigantic punchline, but that no one else gets the joke?  If so, this blog might be a good home for you, too.

I am just some guy.  I’ve been a writer for most of my life, because it turns out I am hilariously terrible at just about everything else.  That’s fine, though.  While all those other chumps are outside catching and throwing things or whatever it is that coordinated and social people do, I am up to my neck in a sweet Dr. Who marathon.  Take that, society!

I was raised in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, but am currently employed as the editor of a small town newspaper several hours west.  What is small town news, you ask?  You would not believe how many enormous vegetables I have taken pictures of.  This one carrot, I swear to God had a face and human finger on it.  I still have nightmares.

I do actually have a name, but I picked the name Tophat when I first started blogging over at Faceplant, and I’ve grown pretty fond of it.

What’s this blog about?  It’s mostly just a desperate attempt to tell the world what is so damn funny though the medium of barely coherent thoughts.  Does that help?  No?  Excellent.  Let’s continue.

Stay literate, chuckles.


  1. I came across your blog after your “Mercury and the fight against nihilism” post was Freshly pressed (congrats by the way), and after taking a quick stroll through some of your past posts – man, you are hilarious!

  2. On behalf of all of us at Primitive Screwheads, we’d like to nominate you for the blogger to blogger, Liebster award.
    Your content is awesome and it keeps us reading.
    Derek, Pierce, Casey, Jeff

  3. I’m still learning how the whole “pingback” thing works, so I thought I’d stop off here too and tell you that I’ve nominated you for a bunch of awards today. I linked back to your blog in my post – so look out for it 🙂

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